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Thursday, June 30, 2005

A Dilemma

As some of you already know I run a rather large group of Trannies called The Angels. Another part of the Angels is a yahoo group which we use as a mailing list/discussion board.

The group has a moderated membership - so anyone who wants to join has to apply and give a short line about who they are. This usually gives us an indication of how well balanced they are.

When they apply, either myself or one of the moderators will check their profile and stuff....

So today we had Kristal_80 apply...... her reason for wanting to join was the rather subtle: "I WANT FUCK/ I LIKE SHEMALES/ :-)) "

So I was kinda not sure if I should let her in or not. Hmm... tough decision. She sounds so normal and well suited to the group... :-) Maybe her real name is Jeff.

Still makes a change from the TF's who have pics of their willies in their profile... I really don't want to see those thankyouverymuch...

On the Angels group, I have now put in VERY LARGE LETTERS in red on the application page - "Please do not join if you are a male admirer".... the number of idiots who still join up with "I like shemale" is amazing.. and then they wonder why they are deleted.

Female tranny admirers are, of course, more than welcome to apply ;-)

Monday, June 27, 2005

Row over Indonesia TG Show

From BBC News: "A transvestite beauty pageant in Indonesia was the scene of an unusual clash on Sunday when it was interrupted by a hardline Islamic group."

After the rush of Sparkle, it's sad to see such small minds still have a problem with trannies.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4626167.stm

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sparkle: The Main Event

Wow… this was one amazing day! Up early(ish) which was pretty impressive considering how much I had drunk the night before, and feeling actually very good.

After almost deciding to go drab for the first part of the day, I made the decision to go back to my original plan and do the entire day en femme. I have never done real daylight trannying before.. so this was a first. I was worried about my makeup lasting the whole day, and by the fact that I would have to wear my glasses for the daytime and it wouldn’t look right. But both these fears were unfounded. I wore a long brown skirt, white vest and brown jacket. It was nice that it wasn’t too warm which made wearing the wig bearable. I had a nice pair of flat sandals to finish off the look. I don’t think I really passed but to be honest I didn’t really care. Looking back I am so glad I didn’t wimp out and do Drab… Not sure if I am up for heading to a major shopping centre en femme yet. But the Village was a good place to start.

We headed out early to get the Sparkle banners tied to the railings in Canal Street and to start inflating the first of the helium balloons. I think there were about 1000 Sparkle balloons in total… and we gradually got them inflated and taken to the various clubs and bars that were involved.

A huge thanks to all the people who offered their assistance during that first part of the day – in particular to Tim for his amazing balloon inflating technique and also Kelly who was an expert balloon holder. Was nice to meet both of you. There were many other girls who stood at the back of the van and collected huge bunches of balloons and carried them to the venues. Thanks all of you.

Kim had also arranged lovely Sparkle Tshirts and cowboy hats for the bar staff. The look was increadibly camp and I think the only way to make them look any more flaming would have been to set fire to the hats… The staff all loved them though, and we had to ration them in the end because many more wanted to wear them than we had available…

After luch at Via Fosse with Bella Jay, Sue, Leah, Kim, Martine Rose, Vicky Lee and a few others (with what seemed to be the slowest service known to mankind!) it was back out to inflate more balloons, give out badges, and watch the Miss Englsh Rose competition. I’m not sure if I missed the rest of it, but the bit I saw involved walking up and down with a book on your head and seeing who could do a circuit the fastest. Six inch nails to assist with the fastening were not permitted. After that was the memorial walk to the Aids memorial in Sackville to tie ribbons in memory of those girls who are no longer with us.

After that… more balloons. If I ever see another bloody helium balloon it will be too soon!!!


Balloons

It was then back to the Place for a change of outfit (I put some jeans on and some boots as it was a little chilly in the sandals) and down to the Manhattan Showbar for the GWRB Fashion Show.

There I met the one and only Miss Becky Enverite, fresh from her Barcelona trip, Clarissa and Vicky Fox… The show was late starting (natch – 10 trannies all trying to get ready!) but the place was packed when it got going. Siobhan looked great in her outfits – and I didn’t realise that Kerrie Green and Broxie were also involved. So it was good to see a few angels strutting their stuff. Full marks to the students who designed the outfits, they had put in a lot of work and they were excellent.

After that…. Guess what? More bloody balloons!


Jo and Kim


Then back to the place – change outfits (again), grab some food and down to the Miss Sparkle competition. Unfortunately it was so hot in the Thompson Arms that I managed to stay inside for a total of 5 minutes before heading back out to the cooler air of the street.

This was my favourite bit of the evening though. Kim had ordered about 600 glow sticks that you could wear around your wrist, with the intention of just giving them away to anyone we saw. So Fiona, Sophie and I took 100 each and headed off down Canal Street to mingle.


Jo and Fiona



This was fantastic… We got a few odd looks from people who thought we were trying to sell them but on the whole the response we got was fantastic. I lost count of the number of Hen Parties I talked to. They were great and were asking all sorts of questions about trannies and what Sparkle was all about. We kept getting our picture taken with them and that kind of thing. Everyone wanted the bracelets and we had a super time. So many people were commenting on how good the atmosphere was down the street and how it was so much different from a regular night. One girl is even going to try and arrange her mates hen night to coincide with Sparkle 2 next year (which will surely happen after the success of this one)

Oh and top marks to Bella Jay for this fantastic Sparkle outfit.


Bella Jay


Compared to last nights overindulgence I didn’t drink that much at all… and was pretty lucid all night (well, as lucid as normal) My feet finally gave out about 2am ish and we headed back to the Place for a coffee and then bed.

To those I managed to catch up with again it was wonderful to meet you. I won’t do a roll call of names cos you know who you are. Oh, and you can see all the Photos at http://www.flickr.com/groups/sparkle05 where I am trying to get other girls to add their photos as well.

So Sparkle thoughts: It was an amazing weekend. Huge thanks to Kim Angel for all the hard work and effort she put into organising what must surely go down in the annals of trannydom as one of the best weekend gatherings. So now people know what Sparkle is and what its about, we should be able to build on that success for next year and make Sparkle 2 an even bigger success.

But we get someone else to do the balloons.

Sparkle: Friday

OK – so the hoped-for internet connection didn’t quite materialise. So my “let’s do a blog while it happens” idea was a bit of a no go.

I’ve now left Manchester, and am stuck in a Travel Inn “up north” for work for a few days… and luckily theres a wireless internet hotspot here. So I can finally get something uploaded.

Friday.

Friday started early… I drove up to Kims to help load up the van with all the Sparkle stuff. We got a Tranny Van.. natch. We had helium, balloons, t shirts, food, and rather too many clothes ;-)

Just so we stood out we had two sparkle signs on the side of the van and purple ribbons on the aerial. I followed behind in my car with more ribbons for good measure.

We got to Manchester about 4ish… dumped our gear in our apartment at the Place and headed down to check everything was going OK at the Exhibition and Lecture area. When we got there I bumped into Siobhan, who was slightly taken aback by my boy appearance.. She said she expected someone taller….. she obviously hasn’t seen my family!

All sorted, it was back to the Place to get changed, and to get some food and nibblies together for a small soiree in our Penthouse by way of thanks to some of the people involved. Had a pretty good turnout and much champagne and wine was quaffed… I think Siobhan may already have posted the image of the champagne corks that we had left at the end of the evening…. There were rather a lot.

It was lovely to finally meet Siobhan in the flesh, as it were…

So at 10pm we headed out (the staff at the Place weren’t too keen on loud parties taking place there) and made our way down to Via Fosse to see Elephant Shelf play… More wine and Smirnoff Ice was quaffed… (I think) The band were great and it was cool to see Miss Laura Handbag strut her stuff on guitar.

After that it all gets a little fuzzy… I think I drank a little more than I intended. Thanks to Kim for escorting me in roughly a straight line back to the apartment!

Friday, June 24, 2005

Here we go, here we go. here we go.....

Well.. almost. Final stages of getting ready for Sparkle. I have about an hour before I hit the road. So far the morning pattern has gone like this.

Check Email.

Read a couple of news sites.

Throw another pair of shoes in the suitcase.

Hunt for spare pair of contact lenses (stupidly forgot to put them into solution yesterday.... when I remembered to go back they were rattling... and I don't think soft lenses should do that!)

Have breakfast

Throw another pair of shoes in the suitcase...

...and a top...

Check I have all the chargers I will need... This is getting silly now. I have a charger for my phone, for my ipod, for my camera, for my bloody toothbrush... I have so many chargers there is going to be one hell of a power surge in Manchester when I get up there.

Debate whether to take my illuminated makeup mirror... decide its just one thing too many to take.

Sanity check of wig, boobs, makeup, makeup remover, nail polish remover, razor, spare razor, tights, undies etc etc.

Throw another pair of shoes in the suitcase.

Take aforementioned shoes back out of suitcase in the realisation that I am only there for two chuffing nights and I have enough pairs of bloody shoes already!

So... yeah. I think I am sorted. Just need to get some petrol on the way up and some munchies/water for when I get up there.

I have a half-arsed plan to try and update this blog over the weekend. I have not got my phone working too well on sending things, and my PDA cant talk to it either... So I am going to hope I can get a net connection in the Place apartment, or one of the WiFi points down Canal St. I want to try and update you all with events and also sort out a Flickr photostream of the event. I'll keep you all posted via this blog (hopefully).

Here we go, here we go, here we go.......

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Well that didn't last long

Well... at least we haven't got to suffer Henmania any longer.

Henman crashes out at Wimbledon

Of course that poor Andy Murray is now going to be weighted down by the hopes and expectations of an entire nation for the next few years or so.

Poor sod.

Well I think I'm packed...

Far too many clothes for two nights methinks, never going to need half the stuff in this case. Plus I have a smaller case for "boy stuff" cos I have to do two days work "Up North" straight after Sparkle.


Well...I think I'm packed. Posted by Hello

and I betcha I'll forget something I really needed....

Oh FCUK it

OK its time to trawl through the archives and resurrect a few old favourites of mine for a new audience who may be stumbling on my blog from another source rather than from my main Joannas Diary website.

This grew out of an idea I had for other clothing lines such as Chavvy Girl (for all your gold jewellery needs) and Brick Shithouse (Clothing for the fuller figure) and Tatt By Mail (like Innovations, only less useful). Inspired by the awful rip-off merchants that peddle junk to ladies such as myself in our early days when we hid in a closet, I developed a spoof website entitled Tatt4Trannies.

As well as the usual ideas for junk items that usually get sold, I did actually have a few good ideas for slogan tee-shirts based on the FCUK line of slogans....

Tackle Visible Under Knickers

I came up with the TVUK T-Shirt... I'm kinda proud of it. I did actually get one made up with a TShirt transfer kit... I must get round to getting a photograph of myself wearing it. Maybe I'll take it to Sparkle for a photo.

One of my particular faves (which I have not had made up, and will not be modelling at Sparkle) is my slogan knickers, which every tranny should be proud to wear:


May contain nuts

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

4 sleeps till we Sparkle

So with Sparkle fast approaching, time to tackle the fuzz on my legs. As I have said before I don't usually shave my legs, one because my wife hates it when they are stubbly, and two because I am bad at thinking up excuses to explain them to others.

I tend to use Veet (the-stuff-formerly-known-as-immac) cream - this year they have brought out a new version of it so I thought I would give it a go.

Kind of a little confused by the instructions - they say "Designed for legs, underarms, bikini line and can be used anywhere, but not on the face, scalp, breast, perianal and genital areas or on any other body part" So that doesn't really leave a lot of choice ..... so what exactly do they mean by "can be used anywhere"? Can I use it on top of the number 47 bus? Or maybe down a coal mine perhaps?


Usually there used to be a plastic scraper that used to really hurt sometimes - especially scraping the bony bits of my legs. This new version has a nice softer scraper that looks like a razor.... worked kinda well.


So here is the before shot:


Slapping on the cream, doing my best not to get it everywhere:


Of course, they always say "scrape it off after 3 mins... do not leave it on for any longer"... so how exactly do I get it off my entire leg instantaneously? Always a worry....

And here is the after shot.. with my other leg to compare. Don't panic, I did do the other leg as well... I don't think that one hairy one smooth look will really catch on on the streets...



And finally - the end result with a pair of tights and a nice pair of shoes (which may or may not be coming up to Manchester with me)

I sorta managed to narrow down what I am going to wear for Sparkle.. Well, if "narrow down" means to take a large pile of clothes, turn it into two smaller piles of clothes, and discard one pile. The outfits I want are in that pile.... but it is still far too many clothes to take.... Going to have another go on Thursday I think.

South Park

Was sent a link to this site the other day. It lets you create your own South Park character. Was kinda fun making a little version of me...

South Park Jo Posted by Hello

Monday, June 20, 2005

Scan spots women faking orgasms

So scientists have been able to determine the difference between a real and a faked orgasm by looking at brain scans according to a BBC Report: Scan spots women faking orgasms

So all we need to do know is work out a way to subtly sneak a giant brain scanner into the bedroom without her knowing....

Oh and wearing socks in bed increases the chance of an orgasm.....

Hmm....

5 sleeps till we Sparkle

I have been mentioning Sparkle for ages either on this blog, or on the Angels site. And now the weekend is fast approaching.

Still have no firm idea what I am going to wear. I am going to need several outfits for the whole weekend. I need something for Friday night, something for daytime on Saturday and something for Saturday evening.



I sorta know what I am going to wear on Saturday daytime ... I have a long brown skirt, white vest top and brown jacket. Got myself one of those nice disc belt things too. Either going to wear boots, or I have some lovely sandals as an option if its hot. Kinda going for casual look for daytime...

For the Friday and Saturday I am not so sure. I know that on one of the evenings I am going to wear this nice red top. But not sure when. Likewise I dont have a clue what to wear on the other evening... But all I can say is thank heavens for the Next catalogue! (But why can't it look as good on me as it does on them? Bah!)

Will have to have a trawl through my wardrobe tomorrow and sort some things out...

My other worry is the fact that usually I only ever dress up for an evening. The saturday is worrying me because a) It is the first time I have been out in public in daytime and b) I am going to have to dress during the day and then keep it on for the whole of the evening... running the risk of stubble showing through etc.... Don't quite know how best to prepare for that one. Will I be able to do running repairs, or will I need to take the whole thing off and then put it back on again?

Like Siobhan says in her blog post the other day, I too have to cope with a slightly stubborn shadow below my nose that is really hard to mask....

It will also mean that daytime on Saturday I am going to have to wear my glasses as I cannot wear my contact lenses all day and all night.. bah! Still at least they are small frames and look pretty unisex.

So the Sparkle preparations will begin in earnest tomorrow. By Friday I need to - shave legs and chest (I dont usually do this, but have dispensation for a special occasion) - Bleach my arm hairs - Paint my toenails - organise clothes.

Oooh... getting excited.

Barbie time

The hottest day of the year so far coincided with a long-booked visit of some good friends to stay for the weekend.

Cue a rather frenetic Saturday afternoon spent cleaning the house... It had been far too long since its last real clean and so really needed a good clean.. coupled with the fact that it was the second hottest day of the year meant we were knackered....

After the cleaning - I then had to de-tranny the house. I'm not too bad, most of the incriminating things (boobs, wigs) are contained in my office in a few plain looking boxes... Clothes are in the wardrobe and look like they are my wife's. But I just had to make sure that all boxes were well wedged in..... They brought their two toddlers with them, and they took ages to get to sleep. Occasionally one would come downstairs and claim it was too hot etc... I was in fear of one of them coming down with a false breast that they'd just happened to find..... Get out of that one....

It's the little things I had to remember - like the drinks mat someone once gave me (I was a little drunk and can never remember who) which say Joanna on it... I use it all the time on my desk, but it would be hard to explain to someone who didnt know about Jo just why I had it... Also post its with reminders about the Angels site etc...

So anyway... the house was successfully de-trannied. And things went well.

On the Sunday we decided to have a BBQ... only problem was that my BBQ from last year was already on its last legs last year, I had hoped it would have one last hurrah, but when I looked at it there was no way we could use it.....

So first job of the day - off to Homebase for a new BBQ.... got a very nice gas one - cooks from the side rather than below so it doesn't clog up... very nice indeed.

Second job of the day - assemble aforementioned BBQ..... Doing my best not to get sunburnt while at the same time keeping track of all the bits and making sure his two toddlers did not move any while we were not looking. And I think we did a very good job.. the only hiccup was with the supporting struts.. looking in the plans they should have been a crosspiece of about 18 inches in length that would screw in at the top and bottom of the legs to make things more stable... The one in the box was about 9 inches long! We managed to screw one of them in horizontally rather than as a cross piece... Still, seems OK ;-)

After that is the traditional BBQ experience of preparing far too much food than we would ever eat in a week.. And then spending the next few hours trying to work out just why we did so many jacket potatoes.. and wondering where all that bread came from.

I love BBQ food though - its just a shame that the Great British Summer never gives us enough opportunities to have one.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Grim up North

In my last post, poor Siobhan was moaning about the weather where she lived up in the North of England.

By means of an experiment to demonstrate this to my readers from around the world, here are two Weather Pixies so you can compare and contrast the live weather feed from where I live to where Siobhan lives. As you can see there is quite a difference.

The WeatherPixie The WeatherPixie

The South T' North

Friday, June 17, 2005

Phew, What a scorcher

Well it finally seems like summer. The sun is out, I have a nice cold beer to hand and it's Friday. Things are good.

Summer officially began earlier this week when the first cries of "Come on Tim" were heard at a tennis competition in the UK followed by another plucky brit losing pluckily. This kind of thing we have made into an artform over here. And it's Wimbledon time of year already.

We seem to delude ourselves every year.... Auntie Beeb has produced the Tim-Ometer this year to track his progress. Surely this has got to be his last attempt.. hasn't it?

Here we go again.....

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A TG Song from an Expected Source

While I am on the subject:

TG Lyric from an expected source: I bought the new(ish) Garbage album last week. There's a few lines in "Bleed like me" with TG overtones.. but thats hardly a shock given Garbage's past material like Cherry Lips and Androgeny.

"Chrissie's all dressed up and acting coy
Painted like a brand new Christmas toy
He's trying to figure out if he's a girl or he's a boy
He says: Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me"
See the whole song

Loving the album though... some pretty good songs on there and it's already firmly entrenched in my car's CD player.

A TG song from an unexpected source

Bought a couple of new albums from play.com the other day. They arrived this morning so I've been busy listening to them before I go out in a bit. I got the latest Foo Fighters album, and also got the newest one from my favourite cheesy rock band Thunder.

I caught one of the lyrics of the Thunder song "Amys on the Run" got me intrigued. Did he really just sing "But they know she's a man"??? Checking the sleeve notes it turns out he did. The song seems to be about a TGirl living in the big city....

"She's watching the young boys at the bar
all chiselled and flexing
She tells them a joke or two then stops
just short of confessing
But they know she's a man
and they all understand

Why Amy had to run, its alright
she's having fun in another life
and she won't be going back for anyone
now amy's on the run

So she dreams of the day
with everything she scrimps and saves
they're gonna change her all the way
and its not a crime
its just that nature got it wrong this time.. this time."

It's caused some interest on the Thunder forums, and the band are a little tight-lipped about who inspired the song... But in a Q&A session online they did say "'Amy' has provoked a lot of questions in all the promotion work we've done recently so it must be making people think."

Just suprised me as I wasn't expecting it. Thunder are the kind of band who write extremely cheesey song lyrics - lines like "There's a ladder in her stocking that I'd love to climb" and "I feel so glad I was born a man she's so fine" kind of thing. I've seen them in concert a few times (I went to see them on their farewell tour a few years ago, and then heard they've been touring again since, the buggers!) I love that kind of cheesey rock though... lyrics that are so bad they are good.

The subject of TG songs is always something I approach with caution. I don't think a month goes by on either the Angels forum or Mailing list without some new member trying to start a thread about TG Song lyrics...... usually to shouts of "oh for fucks sake" from myself or Becky.... but this came from left field so I thought I'd mention it.

Oh and I also bought an album by Hayseed Dixie - which is a hillbilly band covering ACDC songs.. You aint lived till you've heard a Hillbilly band play Highway to Hell.. classic! No TG content whatsoever though!

Monday, June 13, 2005

The Early Bird

So this is my first post from my PDA to test out how to post to a blog remotely. So apologies for any errors, I'll proofread when I get back to my PC.

I am waiting in the car park before a training session and as usual I am early.

As Kim and Laura will testify I am early for everything. Stupidly early in some cases. I can't help it. It's partly down to a hatred of being late and partly an inability to judge the time it takes to get anywhere.

Let me illustrate... Let's say I need to be somewhere for 8.30. I know that it will take me about an hour and 15 mins to get there. So I'm thinking, leave about 7.00 to be safe. It is the M25 after all. So then I think, I'll aim to get up at 6.00.

I wake up 15mins before my alarm, think "sod it" and get up early. I end up getting up, dressed and am ready by 6.30. So I think, "well, I'm ready now...might as well go in case the roads are bad."

The roads are fine, and I misjudged the time it should take me to get there by about 10mins.

So I regularly end up in the car park at the time I really should have left home! Good job I always take a good book with me...

Thing is, I'd rather be there and be early than waiting to leave, worrying about being late.

When trains are involved, I am even worse! But you'll have to ask Laura about that one!

OK Bob, where's my ticket?

OK - so I texted my answer to the special Live 8 text number. And after seeing Bob Geldof on Jonathon Ross on Friday I texted it in twice more. I'd really like to attend this new Live 8 concert, although I have a feeling that you can only make history 0nce, and that this one just won't feel the same.

With the expiry of the competition last night I guess that Bob is already putting my ticket into an envelope*. Think I'll go wait by the door in anticipation of the postie.

(*Yeah, I know. I am in no expectation of actually getting a ticket, there are millions of entries. But as they say, you have to be in it to win it)

Sunday, June 12, 2005

The Obligatory Doctor Who post

OK.. every other blog seems to have mentioned this at some point, so I guess I should get my two-penneth in as well.

Can I just how say much I have been loving the new series of Doctor Who. I was a big Doctor Who fan when I was a kid and it was on Saturday evenings. Memories of sitting at the coffee table in front of the telly eating fish fingers and watching the Pink Panther and then Doctor Who. I kinda faded out when it was slid to midweek evenings and that berk Colin Baker took over. And once Bonnie Langford appeared I had no time for it at all... which was a shame.




In the modern days of Buffy and Babylon 5 I always wondered why the Beeb never brought Dr Who back as I knew it could be made to be a superb show. Maybe they were just waiting for the right writing team.

I was very excited when they said they were relaunching it - I had high hopes, but also was expecting to be disappointed. And wow, did they ever get it right! I had fear that Billy Piper would be another Bonnie Langford, but thankfully she has proven to be an excellent assistant.

Russell T Davies has taken a leaf out of Joss Whedon and J. Michael Straczynski's books and introduced subtle hints to a much grander plotline (Bad Wolf) so that even stand-alond episodes have enough material to keep the internet fanboys chuntering about theories and speculation for weeks on end. For more on the Bad wolf theories click here , and here . Also check out Miss K's theories.

There was a wicked rumour doing the rounds that Norman Lovett (of Red Dwarf fame) was going to appear as Davros in the final episode. But this appears to have been a hoax that some people ended up falling for.

On the whole I have been really pleased. British TV has been sliding downhill recently with the current crop of reality TV and celebtrity shagfest/wrestling/jungle crud that has been clogging up the channels recently.

So yeah.. I'm happy. And loving the speculation on the forthcoming season finale. Its one of the only shows worth watching these days, along with 24 and Cold Case.

As a footnote - I am rather concerned at the kidnapping of a Dalek from Wookie Hole in Somerset. It appears that the kidnappers are demanding a ransom and wish to talk to the Doctor. I do hope that this does not sour relations and instigate another Dalek invasion. Shame that couldnt have kidnapped that prat Colin Baker instead. (of course the cynic in me wonders if this is not just a ploy to drum up publicity for their forthcoming Dr Who weekend..... hmm...)

TG Books that never saw the light of day.

For obvious reasons the above two publications were never released. Posted by Hello

Friday, June 10, 2005

Quick Sudoku

I'm not sure if you have seen these Sudoku (soduku?) puzzles that have become all the rage recently. I must admit they passed me by for a while, not being a crossword puzzle kind of person.

While waiting at the airport the other week I gave one a go, and got quite into it - I managed to do a moderate and a diffucult one and was feeling quite pleased with myself.

You basically need to fill in a 9x9 grid with numbers, so that each row only contains the numbers 1-9 once, and each 3x3 box can also only contain 1-9 once. It sounds easy, but can be quite tricky to complete.

But they do tend to take a lot of time to do, and I am quite an impatient person. So, I have devised my own version. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen.... I would like to present for the first time: Quick Sudoko.

Answers on a postcard, or the back of a sealed envelope please....

Women I am Jealous of #47: Angelina Jolie

part 47 of a continuing saga.... (other titles in this series include Naomi Watts, Kiera Knightley and most of the models in the Next Directory catalogue)

From time to time (ok very often) I see women who make me think "Bitch". I wish I could a) get away with that outfit b) fit into those shoes or c) look like you for a while. I make a reasonably passable tranny but I make no claims about ever really "passing". I'm short, fat with a big nose and gappy teeth. And on the negative side...

So the celebrity who caught my eye this week has been Angelina Jolie. If any of you have seen the promotional shots for her new movie Mr and Mrs Smith will see that she is looking rather spiffing these days. And she has been wearing some lovely outfits to the movie premieres.

On an interesting, and slightly related side note. While looking up the web address for the Mr and Mrs Smith movie, I discovered that www.mrandmrssmith.com is a website for romantic hotels around the UK... which I thought was quite a cool web address.


Thursday, June 09, 2005

Chav dictionaries

So Chav has finally made it into the dictionary...

BBC NEWS UK 'Asbo' and 'chav' make dictionary

This word seems to have finally hit the mainstream. Not wanting to start another debate over who first heard the word Chav, this word always makes me think of a traveller kid I used to teach back in 97/98. Chav and Chavvy were words she used to use in the same way that we would use "mate".

Funny how a word suddenly gets taken up by the public at large - a bit like Minger did a few years back after Big Brother kept using it.

Of course, the definitive guide to Tranny words is of course the trannisaurus. :-)

Amusing UK Place Names

Just been sent this website link.

Amusing UK Places names

OK, so its silly... but it made me smile this morning.

I live near a town called Thong and always wanted to twin it with Six Mile Bottom, thought they would look great on some sign somewhere: "Welcome to Thong. Twinned with Six Mile Bottom" kind of thing.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

the good and the bad

Not a huge deal to say today. Feeling pleased with myself at getting a whole load of work done today which was good Also feeling good about increasing my Joanna time this last week - working on this blog, doing more on the Angels site etc.

Only downer was seeing the negativity that exists in this community sometime. We've lined up an amazing prize for the Miss Sparkle competition. Jodie, Translife and Leah have donated their time and services to line up a posh frock, a makeover and a glam photoshoot.. plus the chance to be a cover girl on Repartee magazine. Now I felt that was an amazing prize, and loads of girls have signed up. But no, there is a section of our community who just want to knock it and complain that they would rather have the cash instead.... They would probably not enter anyway, just want to complain about something.

Just annoys me that some people rather than seeing how much people are laying on for them for free... and enjoy it.. they have to moan.

ho hum

I guess you cant please all the trannies all the time.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Looking backwards

With the recent (ahem) discussion between Becky and Siobhan over who exactly invented the tranny weblog... it got me thinking about just how long I have been doing websites.

I remembered a handy little site called the Wayback Machine that claims to record previous versions of websites, and lets you roll back the internet to have a look at the early versions.

According to that, my first geocities site at http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/6403/ began life on January 17th 1999. Now I am sure I had an earlier version of the site, but this is the earliest one that exists on the wayback machine.

When geocities allowed you to have a nicer web address I changed it to http://www.geocities.com/joanna_tvuk in October 2000.

The Joannas Diary web address was purchased in and around April 2001, where it has lived ever since.

In different versions of the site, there has been a diary of sorts where I mentioned places that I had been... although I would never claim it was anything like a blog of any shape or size.

Taking at look at the early versions of my site is rather scary. Almost as scary as the realization of just how long I have been an internet tranny. My first boy site, created in notepad and uploaded to my new Demon internet space shortly after demon switched from a dos front end to a windows one with Netscape dates back to December 1996!!!! Bloody hell now that makes me feel old. (and my god is it an awful site!)

Bah... part 2

Sky+ is an excellent invention. It lets you record whole series of TV shows to watch when you want to... which is excellent... until the box crashes. My Sky+ box crashed last night and I lost the last 3 episodes of 24 which I am still trying to catch up with. Grr.

Luckily the box is OK again after a hard reset so I can record the rest of the season, but I lost everything on it. Going to have to trawl bittorrent for the episodes I guess.



Transmission June 05

Well... I finally made it out for the first time in ages....

I'd been pretty crap recently, and the April Angelic was my first trip out this year, which is not very good. Things always wanted to happen on the nights when TX or Angelic were taking place.
This weekend, I had a free Saturday so I was finally able to make it to my first Transmission of the year.

The light summer (well its technically summer) evenings are a curse to the average tranny. My driveway is quite long, and kind of shared with the neighbours. I have to get dressed and glammed up and then hide it under tracksuit bottoms for the dash to the car. I put my wig, boobs and jewellery on about 5 mins away in a lay-by. From a distance I'm OK.. but if anyone looked close it would be obvious I am wearing makeup...

Anyway, as I opened the front door, something made me stop for a second.. not sure what, but I closed the front door again and went to the window just to check the coast was clear.... and at that moment my neighbours drew up in their car having been out to get a takeaway. Had I left when I originally planned to I would have been standing right next to them when they drew up... so a lucky escape there! (and as you may have guessed I am not out to my neighbours and dont really plan to be)

After that the drive to Transmission was pretty uneventful... I tried driving in heels rather than wearing my flat shoes, and it was a new experience, and I got quite used to it.

At the club I spent most of the evening sitting with Kim helping her to promote Sparkle and the Reparty50 parties.

It was lovely to catch up with some good friends - Karol Cross, Kim, Stacey, Sarah Licious, Sue and Leah, to name but a few. Sitting down in the basement I kinda missed a lot of people.. and I am not the best at mingling at the best of times anyway....

Was a good night though.. and it was lovely to get out and about again.. Kind of a warm up for Sparkle in a few weeks time.


Joanna, Karol and Kim
Photo by April Angell @kissmypanties.com

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Bah

Why cant nail varnish ever go on properly? Even the "60 seconds" stuff stays tacky for ages and ends up looking all crappy..... Grrr.....

Friday, June 03, 2005

Short Attention Span

I mentioned in the title of this site that I have a short attention span... Well, at least I seem to have one this week.

Let me illustrate. I work from home.. I deliver training courses, but I also do a little writing work on the side. Science textbooks, that kind of thing. This week is a week at home, and I have a writing job to get done. So I start writing on Tuesday morning. By lunchtime I have written one module (out of 40) but also chatted to Becky on MSN, signed up for and created my first blog, downladed Picasa 2 to have a play with.. watched a whole load of trailers for different movies etc etc... The writing is going slowly. Wednesday I ended up with two new news stories for the Angels website and spent a load of time uploading pics to the boy one (and no I wont give the address here just yet)

Add to the distraction that for part of the work means working up artwork briefs for the art team to do stuff with - so I need to find images on the net that are along the lines of things that I want. The kinds of images and sites I have ended up on from google searches are very odd at times.

So searching for an image of a ptarmigan foot to show its adaptation to living in cold climates (it's big and feathery and works like a snow shoe to increase surface area) led me to a site that tells you how you can make money out of photographing road kill... Now that sounds like it could have potential. Down my way we don't really have very interesting roadkill... the chances of stumbling upon a ptarmigan or opossum in Kent are probably highly unlikely.

I have also ended up on sites such as Turtle Times and learnt that the Arctic hare is known in Canada by several names including 'rabbit', 'hare' and 'ukaliq'. A hare is not, however, a rabbit.

Broadband can be a curse as well as a blessing.... I cant seem to go five minutes without either clicking on the little IE icon on my quick launch bar and seeing whats happening out there. I've probably written about a third of what I hoped I would have achieved this week... still, I have a month to get the rest done... just gotta fit it in around my training as well... oh well.


At least I am feeling better about cutting back on the amount of Everquest that I am playing this week!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Strange fact of the day

Looking at the visitor stats of my website, the most visited page in the whole site is my dress up doll page.

That page was viewed 5600 times in the last week... 800 times more than my main index page was viewed!

When I made the dress up dolls, they were just a bit of fluff for the site. I never realised that there was such a demand for these things on the net. I even found myself listed on a dress up doll website! Which exists purely to catalogue the myriad of dress up doll games out there.

Which kinda means that most of the visitors to my site are not into the whole tranny thing at all, they are just here for the dressing up... I wonder what they make of the rest of my site?

Blog Blog Blog

OK, so its day two of my voyage into blogdom. I really want this to be something I do regularly. I guess my first dilemma is exactly what do I write here... Do I keep the focus purely on trannydom, or make it much more general?

If its trannydom, then my problems begin because there hasn't been a whole lotta trannying for a while. I've kinda got into a little computer game called Everquest 2..... It's one of those kind of games that can take over any free time you have.. and it does. Now most people might have a significant other who demands you stop playing and enforces some kind of real life balance... Alas I bought my wife a copy of the game too, and she is addicted as I am!

Still - I can at least say I spend most of my free time as a cute female red-headed Templar :-) So I am combining role-playing and trannying in one foul swoop.

So my trannying has been a little lapsed. I did go to Angelic in April... and I am really aiming to get out to Transmission this weekend (Real Life permitting) and of course there is Sparkle on 25th June.

Anyway, back to this blog. I guess I will just have to write whatever comes to mind - whether its tranny related or not. Looking around at other blogs that seems to be the way to go....

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

My weekend away

Continuing my exploration of weblogs.. and continually finding more things to distract me from the huge pile of work I really need to get done today, I am testing the facility to upload photographs.

Now this really interests me as I have just completed a photography course and have taken shedloads of photgraphs in the last few months. None are tranny related for now.... but I plan on getting lots of photos taken at the forthcoming Sparkle event in Manchester in a few weeks.

For now, you will have to just look at one of the photos I took from my weekend away last weekend. Nice eh?


Guess where I went for the weekend!

Hello World

well... erm... hello world..

So here is the beginnings of my blog. Wonder if I'll actually manage to post as regularly as I hope.

Everyone else seems to have one of these things, so it would be rude not to do one myself. Especially as the original idea behind a website called Joannas Diary was to actually post a diary in some form or another.


This was in the days when the internet was steam-powered, and a diary actually had to be uploaded by hand. So now with these new-fangled weblog thingies there really is no excuse not to actually publish things to this blog more regularly.

And it was only after catching up with a good friend of mine, Becky, who has an excellent blog that I finally got myself sorted out and got myself a blogger ID.

Anyway, I promise I will be good and work on this when I get the chance.

Hugs

Jo
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